Superb Initial and Response Posts




Typing 


"A good deed is better than a year of sermons."

Similarly, a good example is often better than a sheet of instructions. 

~ ~ ~

What should you aim for in our Discussions, given that taken together, they are worth more than any other category of assignments in our course? 

Scott Yaden is a former student of mine. He was given the following question in a World Civilizations forum  last semester: 

What elements of political thinking and practice (both) during the second-wave differ most sharply from those of the modern world of the last century or two? What hasn't changed? Be specific and draw on the assigned materials in your answer. 

Here was his Initial Post to the forum. (The name 'Strayer', used in his parenthetical citations, refers to the author of the course textbook.)

Initial Post:

"Perhaps the sharpest difference lies in the concept of world conquest. Second-wave governments showed a remarkable desire for growth, domination and the assimilation of other lands and resources. In the 21st century CE, we have mapped and populated most all of the habitable surface of the earth, portioned off, negotiated for and laid claim on most every area of interest that lies under the sleepless watch of satellites. In the late centuries BCE, the world was a vast and fertile place, available for the taking by the strongest and best equipped army. Additionally, with the advance of iron-working, weapons technology was becoming ever more effective.

Another difference is simply that of the empire and its divine right and ruler. Regardless of the great socio-political leap between first-wave civilization and the second-wave, the existence of a quasi-divine monarch who was quite literally deserving of worship clearly sets our two political systems apart. Religion, though it was not to receive its ultimate boost until the time of Christ and Muhammad, was "deeply intertwined in government and spirituality, and the temple was present in every facet of daily life." (Strayer 111). The gods were worshiped and so was the emperor. It was all nearly the same. "And Ahura Mazda was of such a mind, together with all the other gods, that this fortress [should] be built. And [so] I built it." (Strayer 120). These words of Persian monarch Darius so clearly illustrate this marriage of church and state, a relationship where the populace could live peacefully in the knowledge that the king was guided very intimately by the gods and counseled by the temple, whose very purpose was to divine the thoughts and purposes of the gods and relay them directly to the king.

Perhaps the greatest similarity is the tremendous emphasis placed on the value of the individual as opposed to the divine right of a monarch or ruling class to do as they please (Strayer124). This concept is still very much alive today and is, as it was in ancient Greece, the a topic of much debate. When walking from my house to work one day, I noticed that a sign hung on a large and very old tree. The sign announced that the tree was to be cut down in order that the sidewalk might be extended a few feet. All those opposed to this action could attend a public meeting on a clearly selected date and time where the local government would hear their protestations. This is an excellent example of this concept held over. Before government or industry takes any action, the people must be heard. Why? Because the people are important and their state of mind and subsequent actions effect all levels of society. (Notice, I say that the people must be heard. That does not necessarily mean that their desires will be carried out, but it does mean that they will not be ignored or silenced.)

Another similarity is the continual experimentation with different philosophies, rule structures and governmental forms. For example, even though Communism has essentially been proven to be a rather crude and ineffective governmental structure (when applied to the human being), 21st century China employs it today. The United States continues to refine the concept of Capitalism while much of Europe experiments with a refined form of Socialism. The Republic continues to be evolved, refined and changed on a global scale, taking on the personality of each leader and population whereupon its exerts its control. This experimentation was best exhibited in second-wave civilization due to their ability to establish their thoughts in writing, though it almost certainly is a fundamentally human trait. Regardless, experimentation in forms of government is a constant and ever-changing process that is no less abated in our 21st century. 

Here is a link to an online paper from the University of New York detailing some procedural methods in the science of political experimentation: (http://www.nyu.edu/gsas/dept/politics/faculty/morton/ExpChapHandbook5April06.pdf). 
It is an excellent example of the importance modern society still places on political science."


What is this a good Initial Post?

  1. He answers the question. All of it. And then some.
  2. He answers it thoroughly, providing examples drawn from the book. He writes more, not less, and all of it is relevant.
  3. He writes grammatically, clearly, so that his fellow students will understand his meaning.
  4. He includes parenthetical citations drawn from the book, giving the name of the author and the page number. 
  5. In seeking to go beyond what is asked for in the question, he offers added value -- a link to a relevant paper, a paper that extends the discussion in the forum. He could just as easily have offered a relevant image or website. 


Image


Response Posts:

Response Posts are also required in the discussion forums, and their chief goal is to question and extend the posts of others and therefore our examination of the assigned material. 

Here is a Response Post that stands out:

"You continue to broach large and compelling topics, Ana. Let us make sure that our dialogues remain cohesive as we proceed throughout this class, so that we may maximize our benefit :o) I interpret your question as: did (and does) sex and the pursuit of it with different partners outside of a marriage bond have a regressive effect on the evolution of society?

Absolutely; infidelity, as being related to the most intimate of human relationships, and therefore sex, has been an intrinsic regressive element in the evolution of society and civilization at large. The attraction between two persons which leads to physical intimacy and a lasting relationship is one of the things that defines us both as individuals and participants in society. Have we been successful or not? Have we chosen or been attracted to the "right" people? How has our desire for and participation in the act of sex affected our lives and the pursuit of higher office and opportunity? All of these questions are asked on the deepest levels by human beings. It is in our nature.

Now, you wrote "infidelity and other unimportant topics", which might be interpreted as indicating that you consider the act of infidelity to be unimportant. If that is the case, then I could completely understand how you would be critical of another person's (and especially a high ranking official's) preoccupation with it. Would you characterize yourself in this way? Or are you simply stating that you believe infidelity is a "behind closed doors" issue and should not be allowed to warp the issues upon which society is built?"

 

Why is this a good Response Post?

  1. Note from the start the friendly tone: the writer praises his fellow student's post and addresses her by name. The student is not interested in one-upping the other but in undertaking the task of learning the material by exploring together.
  2. The student re-phrases the student's question or claim, the better to ensure that she has understood it properly. 
  3. The student directly quotes from the student's post so that even if you, a third student, come upon this response and have not been following this exchange, you don't have to scroll through the discussion to catch up on the history of the discussion. This is courtesy to the reader.
  4. Pursuing to the end of the response his attempt to better understand the student's thought, the student responder asks a series of specific questions. These are invitations to expand the conversation.
  5. Finally, note that the writing is clear, grammatical, and carefully punctuated. Textese is avoided. 

 

Here is another good Response Post. Note how it differs from the example above: 

 "Zhao describes men to be superior to women."

Allow me to respectfully disagree with you here, Kurt, and in doing so humbly present my own interpretation for your consideration. I do not interpret Ban Zhao as communicating that men are superior to women in any way. Instead, I see her skillfully incorporating the chauvinistic views of her age into a treatise which balances the scales rather than tips them in any gender's direct favor. She even goes so far as to discuss a man's worthiness, which is almost scandalous - who is a woman (in this age and society) to discuss whether or not a man is worthy to be served? It creates somewhat of a paradox: if men are superior to women, then why is she discussing whether or not a woman should be in service to them? Shouldn't they just be in service to men because they are men? No, there is something else between her lines, and sometimes right in them.

She began by mentioning the Daoist "Way", which is a forceful initiation: "The Way of husband and wife is intimately connected with Yin and Yang and relates the individual to gods and ancestors. Truly it is the great principle of Heaven and Earth, and the great basis of human relationships..." (243) If she was drawing this parallel than she was very literally saying that men and women balance each other, not that one gender is superior to the other or takes precedent. This is immensely skillful, because she went on to discuss a man's worthiness - is he worthy to exercise his Yang-related "control" force over his wife? Does he know the "rules of conduct manifesting his authority", which is very directly Confucian. Then she wrote that if a woman does not "serve her husband, then the proper relationship between men and woman and the natural order of things are neglected and destroyed." Most importantly, she concluded the paragraph by writing: "As a matter of fact the purpose of these two is the same" (245)."

Why is this a good Response Post?

  1. Note that, again, the student begins by excerpting a part of the post he will respond to, setting it front and center. 
  2. He challenges the student's claims. Note the tone in which he does so: "respectfully." The goal, as ever, is not to score points against another, but to invite them to a mutual exploration of the assigned material, the better to understand it.
  3. He addresses the student by name. Courtesy matters.
  4. In arguing his own claim, the responder does not merely disagree briefly and walk away. He uses logic (in paragraph 1) and several quotations drawn from the textbook in paragraph 2. That is, he supports his claim with specific evidence. He then uses parenthetical citations after each quotation so that other students, wishing to confirm the point he is making, can go directly to the textbook to do so. As students, we may think that citations and footnotes are merely hoops that teachers force students to jump through. NOT AT ALL. They are courtesies to your fellow learners so that evidence for claims can be checked easily and quickly -- the better to speed the investigation.

 

 
Image